How Approachable Are You?

It seems obvious, but looking available is one of the most effective steps we can take toward breaking down physical barriers, reducing power distance, and keeping lines of communication open. Not much says "leave me alone" more than keeping your office door closed, not talking to firefighters because they're lower rank or less senior than you, or expecting firefighters to address you by your rank all the time!

If you don't have an office, improve your visibility by getting up from your desk and walking around. Your desk is your turf, and this can make it hard for firefighters to approach you. So, go and speak with them where they are, where they feel comfortable, or talk to them somewhere neutral, like on the apparatus floor. Use this informal time to recognize good work, and to gain feedback. You'll be amazed how much they like to share their thoughts when they're asked!

But it takes more than simply strolling through the hall or apparatus floor. You must make a determined and genuine effort to talk to and understand your team members, to find out what they are doing, check they have what they need, make sure they're happy, and to take action where necessary to correct things that are going wrong.

And don't just talk about work; indulge in a little personal disclosure. Sharing information about yourself is important when you're in a leadership role because it shows others you are empathetic, compassionate and authentic. Speak about your family, what you did at the weekend, and your hobbies. Build rapport with others by finding out about their lives outside work, too. (If you share information and take time to chat, you'll probably find that you end up liking the people you work with – that's great, and mutual liking and mutual respect can be hugely powerful!)

If you're in and out of meetings a lot, let your team know where you'll be and when you'll be back. Ensure they know how to get a hold of you if there are any problems, and make sure you're available. Should you not be able to respond immediately, reassure people that you'll do so at the first opportunity you get.

Put simply, if your team members think you are not listening to them, they won't want to approach you. 

Good listening is not about hearing what someone is saying and waiting for him or her to finish so you can have your "two cents." You have to engage your eyes, as well as your ears, give the other person your full attention, and draw on your emotional intelligence. Being switched on in this way builds trust and respect, both of which are important for increasing approachability.

Engage in Active Listening. This is the process by which you pay attention to the words someone is saying, and understand the complete message that he is sending. Listening in this way is important, because it shows you are paying attention, so your colleagues feel engaged and valued.

Another approach is Empathic Listening. This can help you win a firefighters' trust and get to the root of any issues they may have. Do this by identifying key points and repeating them back to the speaker to get them to open up. What's important is to pay attention to what's not being said, as well as what is. What someone does not say often says even more than what is said.

There is a huge crossover between appearing approachable and being positive, and this is especially important when we consider what comes out of our mouths. What we say is a crucial part of approachability, because good verbal communication helps us build trust and a strong team spirit.

Few people will want to engage with you if everything you say is negative. Although it will always depend on the circumstances, team members will have more confidence in approaching you with ideas or problems if they are not fearful of the outcome. With this in mind, make sure you acknowledge ideas from your team and give credit where it's due.

You don't have to go over the top. Try to give much more positive feedback than negative because people take negative feedback much more to heart than positive feedback – a simple "thanks for the suggestion" encourages people to contribute again.

If an idea is great, make sure you give your team member the recognition he deserves. Research shows that receiving praise raises our dopamine levels – the neurotransmitter associated with feelings of joy and satisfaction – which helps us establish good working habits. But if an idea is not so good, you need to explain why. Failure to do so may leave a firefighter feeling like their input is not wanted, and this can stifle future communications.

Responding positively to good ideas is the easy part. It's how you react to bad news that's the real test. Self-regulation, which is an important part of emotional intelligence, isn't always easy but problems can fester if team members are too scared to come to you with their issues. Appreciate that it takes courage to speak up when something is wrong, so always thank the person for letting you know.

Check out this video on body language and ask yourself if you do these things or see others do them. You will find you probably do, and see others do these things as well. Use this knowledge to increase your personal awareness of what your body language tells others and what others could be telling you.

Negative body language could cause your team to be sitting on ideas that could transform your group or fire department but previous experiences, when you've seemed disinterested, may have put them off telling you about them. And you could be none the wiser!

We know that positive managers tend to have more satisfied and productive teams, and they are naturally far more approachable than those with a negative outlook. Positivity shines through all communication, including our posture, eye contact, hand gestures, speech, and tone of voice. And how we hold ourselves determines the way people act toward us. 

Using the right body language is a vital yet simple way of increasing your approachability. Smile more, unfold your arms, look your team members in the eye when you talk to them, and speak slowly in a moderate to low tone. Take your time when you're walking to and from your desk – even if you're in a hurry – and remember to look around rather than straight ahead or down at the floor.